Gambling Puns

Gambling lapel pins

Short Casino/Gambling Jokes. Short Q & A Jokes. 31 Things Not to Do. Casino Jokes Page 1. Casino Jokes Page 2. Chase Manhattan Bank. Real Cool Casino. Bored Casino Dealers. Have fun at Bikinis Network - buy some great gear or just see pics of the day! Casino Jokes Page 3. There is an abundance of consultants jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 66 funniest jokes and gambling puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any bet witze you can hear about gambling. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

My girlfriend left me because of my gambling addiction. She claimed I was an idiot.
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📅︎ Jul 18
What do you call a herd of cows gambling at a marijuana dispensary?

As writers who love all things gambling, we thoroughly enjoy a quality casino pun. We have both written and come across a great number of different gambling jokes. Some are certainly funnier than others, we’ve read all sorts of them, everything from the silly jokes that just hit the funny spot to the clever and witty gambling jokes that take.

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📅︎ Jun 21
I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.
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📅︎ Jun 07
What do you call the toilet of a king with a gambling addiction?
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📅︎ Mar 17

They told me “you gotta know how to hold em, and how to fold em.”

🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️Dad out.

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📅︎ Jan 04
I'm heartbroken. The Wife broke up with me because of my chronic gambling issues.
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📅︎ Feb 25

... why do they call it para-dice?

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📅︎ Feb 20
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📅︎ Oct 02 2019
I'm gonna bet you 50 bucks that I am no longer addicted to gambling
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📅︎ Dec 01 2019
Where can you look up the definitions of drug abuse, alcoholism, and problem gambling?
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📅︎ Nov 08 2019

I bet them I could go longer than them without gambling.

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📅︎ Jul 10 2019
I was talking to my gambling friend. I told him that I went to the races with my wife.

'Did you win?' he asked.

'Of course not,' I replied. 'We didn't even run.'

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📅︎ May 09 2019
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better

Gambling Punch Cards

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📅︎ Feb 13 2019
I tried opening a casino even though gambling was outlawed
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📅︎ Apr 06 2019
My gambling addicted brother has been missing for a while. Last we saw him he lost his life savings in a game of poker.
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📅︎ Jan 20 2019

you poker

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📅︎ Dec 29 2018
a casino was offering free mexican food for all who lost more than $50 in gambling

this is because its clearly nacho lucky day if you lost that much

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📅︎ Nov 12 2018
'I wish you would stop gambling!' I shouted at my son.
Gambling Puns

'You're no better yourself!' he snapped.

I said, 'Exactly. That's why I don't encourage it.'

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📅︎ Jan 12 2019
When did Adam & Eve discover God didn't like gambling?
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📅︎ Jun 06 2018
Did you hear about the buddhist monk with a huge gambling problem?
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📅︎ Sep 24 2017

High steaks

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📅︎ Sep 02 2017

Too many damn cheetahs.

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📅︎ Jun 25 2013
That Coldplay song must be about a girl with a serious craps/gambling addiction.
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Gambling Puns

📅︎ Feb 09 2016
Gambling
My dad occasionally likes to go gambling in Atlantic City...

Me: How did you like Atlantic City?

Dad: It was great! I came home with a small fortune!

Me: Wow! How did you manage that?

Dad: Well, I left home with a large fortune.

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📅︎ Aug 01 2015

My friend was just about done gambling and he said this.

Casino Gambling Puns

Friend: well I guess I'm done.Dealer: alright I can color you up if you want.friend gives the dealer his chipsFriend: I'm going to need what Obama promised us Americans?Dealer: what?Friend:'change'Dealer:....

Our other friend started laughing too hard and had to leave the area.

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📅︎ Aug 26 2014

Because there are too many cheetahs.

Gambling Puns
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📅︎ Jul 16 2013

(got this from my dad, in a chain email no less.)

Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.

Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.

The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

This is done by the chip monks!

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📅︎ Aug 14 2014
'What's the one answer to the question 'Gambling Problem?' you don't want to hear?
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📅︎ Dec 31 2013

Too many Cheetahs!

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📅︎ Dec 17 2013

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Gambling Pins